Is kate literally and figuratively losing her marbles?

Excerpt from Kate's bewk:

The idea of a monster like this touching my daughter, stroking her, defiling her perfect little body, just killed me, over and over again. It didn't make any difference that this might not be the explanation for Madeleine's abduction (and, please God, it isn't); the fact that it was a possibility was enough to prevent me from shutting it out of my mind. Tortured as I was by these nauseating images, it's probably not surprising that even the thought of sex repulsed me.
I would lie in bed, hating the person who had done this to us; the person who had taken away our little girl and terrified her; the person who had caused these additional problems for me and the man I loved. I hated him. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to inflict the maximum pain possible on him for heaping all this misery on my family. I was angry and bitter and I wanted it all to go away. I wanted my old life back.the man I loved. I hated him. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to inflict the maximum pain possible on him for heaping all this misery on my family.

What strikes me as interesting is the use of the word PERSON.

Given she claims abduction by paedophile who would in all likelihood be a man, why does she use the gender neutral non identifying PERSON?

Person is used to conceal the identity of someone, most often seen when the subject knows the identity of whoever is being discussed and does not want to identify them/

Expected would be MAN

She uses the term MONSTER in relation to touching Maddie but look what  she uses as a demonstrative pronoun, she uses the word THIS.

This is close, that is distancing.

She places herself close to the monster that is defiling her daughter which is unexpected.

it's probably not surprising that even the thought of sex repulsed me. I would lie in bed, hating the person who had done this to us;
I read this and it makes me think she is referring to either herself or gerry.

Sex with gerry repulsed her and she hates the person who made her feel like that.

Did gerry do something to Maddie that repulsed her enough that she couldn't have sex with him?

the person who had caused these additional problems for me and the man I loved.
Here she tells us there were problems between her and gerry ( despite the fact she claims they never fight and are stronger than ever)

It would fit in with the make or break vacation stories that were floating around.

I would ask what problems did you and gerry have before the vacation?

What are the additional problems  caused by Maddie going missing?

Do the additional problems include being suspected of the murder, concealment of a corpse and filing a false police report?
Did they think there would be no police investigation?
Did they think they would have a quickie interview and nothing else?

She refers firstly to the person who did this (gender and identity concealed)
yet look when person suddenly becomes HIM


the man I loved. I hated him. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to inflict the maximum pain possible on him for heaping all this misery on my family.
The person becomes a him immediately after she says the MAN I loved.
Note also she says the man i LOVED not the man i LOVE
This would lead me to ask if she no longer loves him?
Is she referring to gerry?

It would fit in perfectly with her following words, that she hated him, she wanted to kill him, she wanted to inflict the maximum pain on him for the misery on MY family not OUR family


I was angry and bitter and I wanted it all to go away. I wanted my old life back.
What old life does she refer to?
The life she had before she met gerry?
The life she had before she had the children?
Notice she says MY old life and not OUR old life
My is personal and singular, she doesn't include her family in this statement, it is all about her.

Is she leaking regret about the choices she made?
The life she could have had not the life she has?

It seems she blames gerry for what happened.
Did he do the deed or was he the catalyst?

We know kate has anger management issues, she reveals these in her statements, she is always furious, angry, feeling hate, wishing harm.
Was Maddie the victim of a sudden loss of temper?
Was Maddie the scapegoat who once gone, everything would be perfect?

The brain knows the truth and seeks to speak it.

Kate is literally and figuratively losing her marbles