Turning Back The Clock, À La kate mccann From Her Book Madeleine

I wish I could roll back time and go back to the day before Madeleine was abducted. I would slow down time. I would get a really good look around and have a really good think. And I'd think: Where are you? Who are you? Who is secretly watching my family? Because someone was watching my family very, very carefully. And taking notes.

This is a very telling statement.
If it were you or I, we would turn back time and change what we did prior to the event.
We wouldn't leave the children alone.
We would use the evening creche.
We would hire a babysitter.
We would have one of the group babysit all the children in one place.
We would stay in and eat with our children.
Or, we would take them with us.
 By changing what we did, there could be no abduction, and Madeleine would still be with us.
An abductor isn't going to take on an adult to get to a child.
If the children were in one apartment, the creche or at the tapas bar, Madeleine wouldn't have been available to abduct and thus would still be alive today.

Instead, kate tells us she would look around, see who is watching.
Note also, And at the beginning of a sentence indicates missing information.
Why is there missing information in relation to thinking?
What is there to think about?
You don't leave children allegedly home alone every night.
it doesn't require any thinking about, it would be parental instinct.
They did not leave the children home alone as claimed.
Each night there was at least one adult missing from the table.
For there to have been an abduction as claimed, they had to claim neglect.
No neglect meant no abduction.
No abduction meant awkward questions as to what happened to Madeleine

Order is also important.
She asks Where are you first rather than Who are you.
The Where will change as they move around, the Who will always be the same
Why is there missing information in relation to taking notes?
Why do this, and not what the rest of us would do if given the opportunity to turn back time?

Note also the qualifier secretly, which weakens the statement.
A qualifier is a word which, when removed, doesn't change the meaning of the sentence.
Because is used to explain why something happened

We then have  more qualifiers, very, very carefully.
Each qualifier weakens the statement, we have the word very repeated twice followed by the word carefully.This makes the sentence sensitive to her.
Who is the one taking notes?
There is no pronoun to tell us who the note taker is.
Is it kate?
Rather than doing the expected and taking action such as changing their routine or contacting the police?
Is it the alleged abductor?
What use would notes be if, at anytime, all the adults could suddenly break into becoming responsible parents and either use the creche, the babysitter,  have one of the adults from the group babysit all the children in one apartment, bring the children with them to dinner, or, eat at home with their children?
There was no abduction.

Whatever happened, happened.

Changing their routine to prevent an abduction would have made no difference, Madeleine would still be dead.

It doesn't cross her mind to change their routine, it would have made no difference.

She is stuck with the abduction as claimed thus all she has left open to her is the spiel about looking around to see who was watching.

Kate told us whatever happened wasn't because they were sleeping, it was something else, she knows, she was there

I know that what happened is not due to the fact of us leaving the children asleep.

I know it happened under other circumstances.

I know the situation we were in that night.

So kate, what were the other circumstances?
If the children weren't asleep when you left they had to be awake which contradicts your claim they were asleep when you left them.
I know is repeated three times making it sensitive.

The brain knows the truth, it wants to tell.

Lying is stressful and, as we have seen particularly this year, you look now like you should have looked when Madeleine went missing.

The guilt and stress are eating you alive.

So much so, you telegraphed to the world openly about you wanting to commit suicide after killing your surviving children and gerry  when you spoke about pressing a button and you would ALL be together.

The key word being ALL, since you could only ALL be together if you knew Madeleine was already dead, otherwise, you committed murder-suicide, and made Madeleine an orphan

This is not the expected behavior of an innocent parent.
It is also deeply concerning as to your mental health.

The time is now to admit the truth and bring this charade to an end.

It will come to an end and it won't be in favor of you and gerry.

It is easier to admit what happened, give Madeleine the decent burial you desperately want for her allowing you to grieve publicly.

Admitting the truth of what happened will let you get the help it is clear you desperately need.

Talking now and ending this, means you have a bargaining chip, something to use for a plea deal.

Not talking now means more and more stress, paranoia wondering who is watching you, tailing you, listening to your calls, intercepting emails, seeing who you meet.
Wondering if today it comes crashing down with the early morning knock on the door.
 

Your mental stress must be enormous, what with maintaining a lie, trapped in a marriage where you had issues long before Madeleine 'disappeared'.

Lying to your growing children when they ask questions.

How long can you restrict their access to the Internet, where I can be certain they will be Googling information regarding Madeleine and the events of that week and the subsequent years, if they aren't already?
 

The fear that maybe they heard or saw something they shouldn't have during that week of the vacation?

The fear that in the ensuing weeks, months and years, they have overheard you and gerry  talking, arguing about the situation they now find themselves in, perhaps when you thought they were too young to understand or, when you thought they were asleep.

It is surprising how much children remember when adults around them did something or talked about something.

All it takes is a sound, a picture, even a smell or taste to bring memories flooding back.

The tapas 7 will cover their own butts first and foremost, they will blame you and gerry minimizing their own involvement.
There was little to connect you before.
You weren't even close friends, just acquaintances.
They owe you nothing and, if push comes to shove, you and gerry will be thrown under the bus post haste.
 

Could your downfall even come at the hands of your own children?

Your own words reveal the truth of the lie.

Your own mouth kate, betrays you.
Your own thoughts kate, betray you.
The thoughts that are writ large upon your face kate, betray you.

Perhaps, relief that a burden had been lifted from your shoulders and life was wonderful after that fateful week has now ended up a burden on your shoulders that can never be lifted or eased, no matter what you say or how you behave or what you do until you speak the truth.

Crimes like this are never closed, they will be forever open and, one day, knock knock and it's game over.

Think about it kate.