kate mccann "The dread of knowing what happened"

from a statement kate mccann made at a missing people fund raising dinner

At the gala in London Kate, who is an ambassador for Missing People – a group led by Jo Youle – said: “The highs are when you think there is news. And the lows… the dread of knowing what happened and the dread of not knowing what happened.”

We all know order is important, it tells us the priority the subject has for what happened, what they know, who they know and how they feel.

What caught my eye was the above telling comment, in particular

the dread of knowing what happened and the dread of not knowing what happened.”

Innocent parents would say this in reverse, the dread of not knowing what happened to their loved apart from the fact they are missing, knowing what happened would be to them they were somewhere and they didn't come home, or they were at home and then they weren't.
The dread of not knowing is their priority, they think the worst and pray for the best,

Here kate tells us she knows what happened and she dreads it.
Given it was an alleged abduction despite no evidence, forensic evidence of a death in the apartment and a corpse in the hire car, tainted clothing and child's toy.

Previously they have told us they don't know what happened (this never makes sense if they have reported a missing child as abducted, this means they know (believe) what has happened.

She talks about the dread of knowing what happened, how can she know this, if , Maddie was abducted all kate knows is that an alleged someone took her daughter, she cannot know what has happened since.
To know is to state something as a given fact, otherwise words like think or believe appear which allows others to think or believe otherwise.

Kate knows what happened, she doesn't think she knows what happened, or believe she knows what happened, these would be weak statement.

Kate knows the dread of what happened.
There are no qualifiers, no ifs' maybes, thinks or believes all of which would weaken her statement.

Kate knows what happened and it is eating her alive.

She explains the last few months as rough due to sleep deprivation, which coincides with the reopening of the case in Portugal, a new investigation from the Met and the libel trial.

The excuse isn't due to waiting waiting on news ( the highs - what does she mean news? news about what? not being made arguido, not being hauled in for questioning, not being arrested? any day they aren't arrested etc is a good day)

 She and gerry are facing a 3 pronged attack whereas before it was only 1.

The libel trial is going down the pan hence their previous attempts to buy Dr. Amaral off which he refused, the crime watch programme backfired on them spectacularly, tanner's sighting was explained away which promptly blew gerry's alibi out the water and the Smith's e-fit looked like gerry.

It also came out they had sat on this evidence for 5 years.
Does this count as hindering the search along with the 48 question?.

We have not been informed if the mccann's are now arguidos, i suspect they are since the case was reopened and thus it would naturally be reimposed on them to give them legal protection.

They can't spin this in any good way,, it means they can refuse to talk about the case citing judicial secrecy, it means though they are now considered 'suspects' which means no donations, thus we have silence and old sightings and suspects rehashed.

Kate McCann reveals she's "exhausted" as renewed hope of finding daughter Madeleine means she can't sleep.